Crossing the Line

For the past few years, there’s been a lot of media about how difficult it is for a black woman to get married. Media professionals scrabbled everywhere  talking to different psychologists, specialists, marriage counselors, whoever they can get their hands on to answer this debilitating phenom. It went from different solutions like we aren’t that attractive, we’re too picky and we’re too successful. Now, the latest reason for an African American woman’s lack of holy matrimony is that we’re not willing to try something different and date other races.

The majority of black women I see usually do opt only for men of a darker complexion. Many of us never think of dating other races because it’s something we’re too used to seeing in our society. We see successful black families on TV and sometimes around us. We see the happiness and the higher degree those families have brought upon our culture thus making us want the same thing.  Many of us simply have never thought to date that cute white boy in the office or flirt with that charming Asian sitting next to us on the bus. The successful black family is something both many black men and women have always aspired to be.

Yet, the powerful image of the black man seems to be dwindling as many of them end up in jail or lack education. African American women are increasingly obtaining more degrees climbing the ladder of success while many of our gender opposites sit comfortably at their low wage blue collar jobs. There are many African American men trying their best to excel in life. But the lackadaisical men of our society get all the attention and make it seem like the progressive black men don’t exist.

According to professor and author Ralph Richard Banks in a recent Essence article, African American women should consider dating other races to strengthen our race and allow more black couples to get together in the future. If we broaden our horizons, we could come together again and increase the amount of colored women getting married.

I do agree that more of us should date out of our race for potential marital bliss. It never hurts to try different things. Someone of any race could be the one you were meant to be with. It takes character, not color, to match two people together. Especially since black men have no problem dating other races. We live in a world that’s more open to different possibilities. We can only strengthen and gain more steam if we come together in all sorts of ways including love.

Although, I am a bit perplexed by some of the reasons as to why we should do this. Some of what Banks was saying is that the few successful black men out there won’t be willing to date many of us because they’re ultra picky. They have more options to choose from so they’re going to want all the right ingredients to their ideal woman. And then the men left that don’t fit on the level of a successful black woman based on finances and degree level are left alone and forgotten. It just looks like black women have to give up on black men because the majority of them aren’t doing much for themselves.

There’s still a great deal of black men working hard, getting degrees and treating women like angels who don’t get any credit. Should we leave them behind too? Interracial couples are such a beautiful sight to see. However, these couples got together and stayed together mostly because of the magnetic connection they have for one another. They admire the differences and the similarities they had for each other. They let love happen and it blossomed because of the beautiful soul they saw within one another. If we’re going to cross the racial line, lets to it because we want to reach beyond the barriers of all the amazing people out there of various races; not because it seems like there’s no hope for what’s left of the black man.

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