Overuse of the Red Flag

The perfect gentleman was so much more than the man standing in front of her. He had dark brown eyes that were deep enough to dive in. His caramel colored skin lightly glowed in the moonlight. His suit was smooth as ever wrapping him in a secure blanket of style. His voice was so low and steady, she felt she would drift off into the stars from its charm. The night was easy going and fun for the strangers who felt like a matched pair brought together by destiny. They had a candle lit dinner filled with flowing conversation and joyous laughter. Chemistry was in the air and it was creating a formula for a budding romance. But at the end of the night with all the chivalrous actions he performed, there was one more thing he couldn’t do to impress his possible future wife. He completely forgot to clean out his car. He was embarrassed to take her home in his junk mobile. She didn’t live too far from him, but thought it was strange of him not to take her home. What kind of man would make up such a stupid excuse so he wouldn’t drive her home? She gave him a quick peck on the cheek and decided there wouldn’t be a second date. 

Finding a person that can keep a smile on your face all day long is hard to come by. We work so hard to find love in our lives by following three simple steps.

Step 1: Date.

Step 2: Choose someone.

Step 3: Fall in Love.

 Of course these steps aren’t as simple to follow as they are to write. People date all kinds of crazies who are just looking for a good time or who are just flat out dating for the wrong reasons. We meet so many sluts, players, conceited, weird, stuck up, cheating relationship failures that we get burnt out.

 When we finally get around to choosing someone, lots of candidates get knocked out. Some of them are so precisely not the right one. Yet then there are others who could be, but don’t get the chance. Because of the wounds of past relationships, we start to shield ourselves from each other. Each person we encounter suddenly have a list of problems that are unacceptable.

She’s too clingy because she calls me everyday. He’s controlling because he asked me to make him dinner. He’s not respectful because he didn’t open the door for me. She nags too much cause she won’t stop bugging me about going back to school.

 We allow these red flags to rule how we choose our future mates, but we forget that we are all human. There are simple things people do when dating or in a relationship that could just be insecurity or ways of trying to improve the relationship. Unfortunately, their boyfriend or girlfriend takes it the wrong way.

Sometimes there are flaws we rule out within a person because of a stereotype or because of what our peers are saying. The reality of the situation could be what these influences are saying, but for the most part it’s better to ask and find out.

I may not fully understand the pain left over from a past relationship, but there’s a reason why it’s in the past. If you’re with a different person, it’s a different relationship. Red flags are good when they’re used in moderation. But the overuse of them could stop people from finding love. It could strain the new union a person could have with someone else because of the fear they have from the past.

 It’s hard to fall in love, but having a guard up all the time keeps love out. It’s scary, but if this is something we all want so much, why do we also work so hard to keep it away? Unless it’s an obvious red flag, when you find that person that makes your heart stop in its tracks you got to follow that feeling. Love doesn’t come easy in this cold world, so we shouldn’t chase it away so easily.

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