Natural Hair Milestone

My Galaxy phone every few days reminds me of pictures I took years ago. Sometimes it’s a nice trek back into the past and at other times in brings up painful memories. However, today it brought back a natural hair milestone for me. A year ago today, I took a picture of my hair when I was first transitioning. I never noticed before until I saw that picture but you could see the permed hair meeting the new growth. It’s remarkable to me how much my hair has changed since I decided to go on this journey. I am so happy with how my hair is turning out even though my hair often times has a mind of it’s own.

 

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My Worst and Best Summer

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I wonder if I even know how to write about music anymore. Can it be a lost art? Are my fingers now rigid from lack of motivation? I mean, it’s not that I’m not inspired to write; life is an inspiration in itself. My problem is that I’m too busy living it. I’m too tied up getting caught up in it’s sticky web instead of taking the time to mark it all down.

Days heavy with heat are slowly being replaced with the complacent cool of the next season. While the city literally baked at times this summer, my mental state was transforming to liquid form. Life had lifed me, a term I learned from an incredible writer named Evan Sanders. It tripped me up and laughed at me as tears fell down my face. But it’s cruelty was a clear example of tough love. The despair taking over my soul did not win.

I lost the first job I ever loved this summer. It felt like a serious slap to the face because it came out of nowhere. I was ready to get back to work, excited to pour my best effort into it and what….huh?…..really?……You’re letting me go because of:

a)  Lack of Growth (what does that even mean?)

b) Budget Cuts (Aha!!!)

c) Disagreement to the mission (I must have had amnesia the day I ever bashed the mission.)

Nevertheless, my world was turned upside down. It sucks when something you’ve invested so much time in is suddenly taken from you. And it came at such a difficult time in my personal life.

My grandma died just the week before this happened. The woman who had raised me from a baby was now gone from my life. God took her away from us. She’s now resting peacefully at home in heaven where she belongs. It’s never easy losing someone. You know they’re in a better place. You understand that they no longer have to deal with pain. The suffering of this life is an ordeal they no longer have to go through. Yet, it still hurts.

There is also this guilt because I know I didn’t spend enough time with her when she was here. I spent too much time hanging out with friends and having fun. Now I’ll never get the chance again in this lifetime. Giving her a hug when I see her is a past time now left for my memories.

With all this renewed freedom, time was now both my best friend and my enemy. Much time was spent trying to make the best out of such dire situations. Of course, losing my grandmother was much harder to deal with than losing my job. I loved both, however, life goes on.

Laughter radiated throughout my body when a close friend would make a joke. Bliss brought me inner peace when watching random movies with my parents. Hope lifted the happy place in my mind after a great talk with an incredibly inspirational person. Even the quiet moments to myself  in the city I love or at home provided me the strength that was meant to come.

However dark life may seem to be does not mean you must live in that darkness. As long as there is air coming through your lungs, there will be opportunities to achieve joy. The people you lose will always be with you. Embrace the spirit from when they were here; it will walk with you throughout your life. My grandma’s spirit will always be with me. She had a powerful effect not only on me but on the rest of my family as well. We will always love you grandma.

Her spirit will carry me through my darkest days and my happiest moments. This summer in some ways was awful, but it was also the best for me. Never have I ever gained so much strength. Losing my job also made me reflect a lot on my time there. It made me realize that this was probably the best for me. It made me think more about what I want and about what I deserve. I still want the best for them and wish them much success, but this was God’s will. When something or someone is no longer in your life, let it go. For certain, there is an opportunity waiting for you to take a bite out of it’s sweetness. Don’t let the weight of something you lost drag you down. I did for a while, but the time to wallow in pity is over.

I started thinking more about what I require and desire out of life. Losing something I loved so much made me see that there is a position more right for me once I really thought about what I wanted. There is a beautiful piece of passion, excitement, growth, team work, challenge and more sitting in a nice package for me. Once my employment package and I meet, my life can only improve.

I am a better person now because of all that I lost. For a long time, I have not really been able to write. But I am starting to find my inspiration again. I am returning back to me and it feels great. Life can only get better from now on. If life lifes me again, I can smile and recognize the unmistakable sign of growth. Through difficult times, remember to smile; for you are blossoming.

Current Flow:  Lianne La Havas

 

 

Brand New Me by Alicia Keys

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This video would be perfect for all of those people hoping to change for the new year. It takes a lot of time, experience, effort, and dedication to be able to shed away the old flaws of the past. Change takes hard work, but when it happens it’s a beautiful blossoming for all the wonders just waiting to pounce into your life.

Alicia Keys evolves into a more supreme vision of herself (Although, I don’t see how; she’s already so perfect) in her new video “Brand New Me.” The single from her phenomenally successful album Girl on Fire is an example of the gorgeous gems from her treasure chest of valuable music. It starts of with her talented piano skills intertwined with her soft and lovely voice. Then it gains energy throwing out powerful jabs of intensity and harmony throughout. The height of the song is an explosion of emotion and personal strength bursting towards the listener’s ears. It’s a symbol of breaking away from the weak ones who keep us down from the expanse of our potential. But I think it’s also a stance against the negativity that resides within all of us. Ms. Keys speaks a tale of pulling away from the pessimistic forces that attempt to stop us from being the wonderful beings that we are; and she does this with the simplicity of a piano and of her amazing vocals. “Brand New Me” is the perfect melody for finding the energy to becoming a new you and for letting go of the muck in your life that’s keeping you from shining.

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