So the past few months, I started seriously considering moving out of my mother’s home. It is my first time looking for apartments to live potentially on my own or with roommates. This is something I have dreamed about for some time. Ten years ago, I graduated from SUNY Plattsburgh. During my undergrad experience, I had a roommate every year. (Although, I got lucky some semesters and had the room to myself.) Each roommate was different. The first was the most difficult. She was bossy, did not clean and did not take showers every day. We lived in a very small room. I know I wasn’t the perfect roommate either, but that experience was not the best. However, sophomore through senior year I had great roommates. We did have issues at times, but got along quite well.
I also enjoyed the freedom of being away from home. I was 7 hours away upstate living around other young, diverse people as well. Sure, I missed my parents but it was so liberating meeting new people, making my own choices, making mistakes and growing without them breathing down my neck. It was an exceptional experience that I will always cherish.
I can’t believe it’s been ten years since I graduated with my bachelors, left the dorms and came back home. But when I think back to my 21 year old self, I sit in a bit of disappointment on how far I strayed from the original plan. I was supposed to stay at home for two years, get a full time job and then move out.
However, in life, plans do not always go as planned. I ended up getting a bunch of part time, per Diem free lance writing and educational jobs over the years that were not enough to allow me the finances of getting my own place.
Life; it happens. It changes like the waves of the ocean. It is never predictable and we must ride the waves. The motion of this metaphorical ocean has led me to a Masters in Social Work, a full time job as a social worker, and the ability to work a second job with my own side business making wire wrapped crystal jewelry. So my world has definitely developed since undergrad.
With a special package of personal growth as well, I feel more motivated to get into that expensive jungle of New York and move out. This birdie wants to flap her wings and fly. After a lot of thought, I’m ready to take that step.
There has been some naysayers on the notion however. People tell me that New York is too expensive, I should stay home to save and buy a house, roommates are awful, etc. Especially now that I paid off my car note and I don’t have an intense bill, staying home to save does not sound that bad.
Although, it would mean giving up the chance to experience the pros that I’ve often dreamed about. I look forward to decorating a living room, inviting friends over, having my own space in the fridge, having more ownership to my space, a new adventure, and living somewhere different.
My heart is still very set on finding a place whether shared or on my own. I make enough now where it wouldn’t be a problem and I am going to look into the most financially sound solution to saving money and still have some semblance of being on my own. In New York, that means living at least with one or two other individuals.
I understand that living with different people will be a challenge, but the point of being around other people is to learn how to navigate through those differences and to make the situation work for everyone. I understand it will be a challenge to get used to paying so much for rent, but it’s a responsibility that I am ready for. I understand that I could save more to own a home if I stay home, but I honestly don’t know if I want to own a home; at least not in New York.
As an individual in her thriving thirties, I am ready to pursue growth even if there will be some growing pains. Having more financial responsibility, dealing with conflict that may come up with landlords or roommates, and my own personal challenges is part of the process of getting older. This is an experience that I am ready for and I am excited to take the next steps in the journey.