Hello All!

This post is literally here to explain my absence.  My writing has been indulged in a more academic platform as I have started Grad school this Fall at Hunter. So my words have been plastered on Blackboard posts, journals, mini papers and regular sized papers. But my creative side has been pinching my insides for weeks. I will try my best to let my creative energy out on here. But yea, this is just a little update to my whereabouts. I did get some writing done in my personal journal, but it would be awesome to let you guys in on my thoughts as well. I also keep coming up with ideas for blog posts, so hopefully they will come to life. (They must!!!)  It would make my little heart pump so much faster. =). I hope all is well with everyone. I am excited to continue my writing journey here with you guys.


Random photo from my Cali ventures. =). (My travel tales was strictly left for my journal) 




Miss me?

It’s been too long. How y’all doing? You know, there’s something missing sometimes. I want to write, but I need inspiration; a muse to draw me into the blank page and color it with vivid words. I have the desire cawing at me every day. It nags me like a love sick child crying for attention. I want to write. I need to write. But life always locks me away from my freedom to express.

I can not tell you I will be back here every day. But what I can promise you is that I will try. Whether it be once a week or once every few weeks, by golly I will try. The characters spilling out of my fingers now are already making me feel a little giddy. I’m feeling a little tipsy from my writing return. I hope I get to experience this much more often. And I hope to experience you too. Be well and I hope you stop by for a visit again.

Happy New Year btw. Welcome to 2014!

What Defines an Adult?

Fake it till you make it they say, but she knew she had all the skills and the talents to get there. Confidence was radiating through her smile as she entered the tall NYC office building. Butterflies punched the insides of her stomach, but the placebo optimism she coached herself into guarded against anything. The ninth floor finally came. She walked down the maze like corridor continuously ignoring the beat down going on in her tummy. The receptionist smiled up at her, casually guiding her to take a seat. She looked at the time. 15 minutes early. Nothing was going to stop her today. Five minutes later, the hiring manager stepped out of his office and gave her a sturdy handshake. She reciprocated one back with fire in her eyes powerfully illuminating how much she wanted this. The hiring manager seemed impressed with the ease and the confidence she gave him as she answered his questions. The shadow of her nerves was an ignored cast in the pit of her stomach from the limitless desire of what she had to have. The world was hers at the end of the interview until he said something she never would have expected. “We’ll keep in touch.” The stab of the words left a wound in her heart as she gradually descended to the first floor. “What did I do wrong?” was all she could think. An elderly woman got on at the fifth floor and looked her up and down. “Shouldn’t you be in school young lady?” she asked glaring at her with daggers in her eyes. “No, I’m 22,” she replied in surprise. The woman’s eyes quickly softened. “Oh, I thought you were just a baby. You look no older than 16.”

Blast this baby looking face. Wouldn’t it be easier to be in the decision making process while you were in your stomach? God doesn’t make mistakes, but sometimes it’s hard to understand what he was doing. If you’re like me, you look young. You can’t turn the corner on your way to work or school without meeting someone and having them gasp in surprise about how young you look.

Face it. You’re going to be this way for some time. You’re going to step into a bar and be carded regardless of if you want a drink or not. You’re going to engage into conversations where the person could be going along with what you’re saying, but in the back of their mind something’s screaming “Why am I talking to a 12-year old?”

It’ll be awesome when you’re older, yes. But now….not so much. It’s hard to be taken seriously when you look like a teeny bopper. Regardless of what you wear or how you present yourself, it’s easier for people to go by what they first see.

You try to take the steps to show the world how awesome of an adult you really are. But then even with this challenge of trying to prove yourself, you’re faced with your own questions.

How do I do this? Who am I? Where am I going? What makes me an adult? What defines an adult?

As a 20 something, you’re still trying to figure out this whole thing called “Life.” Honestly, I don’t think anyone will completely figure it out. But you’re at a point where you’re still trying to put things together.

Your career. Your relationship. You.

It could all be a bit confusing and hard to deal with at times. Especially if you still live with your parents. There could be adult decisions you want to make and somehow they try to find loop holes to continue control over your life. Or they just try to control you cause you still live there. And if you’re unemployed, underemployed or working in a dead end job that’s to be getting you no where, their respect seems to dwindle.

My own father is always lecturing me about life from the time I was a little girl; his own way of trying to prepare me for the world. He likes to remind me of this time when he was telling me something and I asked him to wait till I got older to tell me everything. My father likes to talk and me being a sleepy little girl, I didn’t know any better. Now, I wish I could go back to my six-year old self and tell her to shut up because you’re going to make future me deal with an extra dose of lecturing.

But I understand that my father was just looking out for me and he still continues to to this today. Our parents are just trying to protect us from the cruel world. Yet, sometimes that protection just seems to make us more vulnerable. The best lessons are the ones you learn through experience.

Though it may seem like everyone is looking down on you at times, it’s easy for people to make quick decisions at face value instead of digging deeper. But the effort you put into yourself, your career, your relationships and anything vital to you in this life will help guide people to take you more seriously.

For young looking young people and any twenty-something, you got to work extra hard on you. Take some me time. Go to the beach. Take long walks. Do yoga. Talk to God. Talk to you. Dedicate time to the most important person in your life.

Apply for more jobs. Volunteer. Apply for internships. Do as much as you can to get to that career that you want or that career you’re looking for. But it’s also important to really get a grasp of what you like; trying different things will get you there. The more you do, the more clearer the path to success becomes.

Go on dates. Mingle. Go to parties. Be in a committed relationship. Get married. Have fun, enjoy life and remember that you are young, but you are growing to the best of your potential.

A person could look you in the face and see a teenager or someone who’s just not serious about their life. But it doesn’t matter. The most important factor is whether you take yourself seriously. You know what you’re doing and you know the steps you’re taking to get there counts for a lot. All things happen to those who believe; you become an adult once you take responsibility over your life and own it.

One Year Anniversary of The Heartbeat Life

I’m elated to have been writing for this blog for one year. It’s been an amazing experience. Between finding all these talented artists, sharing old and new music, and enthusiastically writing my joy for some awesome music and life events, this blog has created memories that will always hold dear to me. It’s been such a fun ride and I can’t wait for the second year anniversary to roll around next year. Thank you all for joining me on this fantastic journey on the Heartbeat Life.  I could only hope you join again to see how much this little spec on the web grows in the future.

Happy Birthday to the Heartbeat Life. May this blog grow to be a successful entity on the web. Regardless of how many readers stop by, hopefully it’ll be for people who truly enjoy the content of this site. I hope it has been a great experience for you as it has been for me. =).

I can’t help it, but….

Success stories are always wonderful to hear. He got the new job. She got a pay raise. He just got nominated for a new reward. You meet people with amazing news and plaster a big smile on your face as soon it comes spilling out of their mouth. You say “That’s great. Congratulations!” Yet the enthusiasm caked on your face doesn’t quite emulate the explosion of sadness that just burst throughout your body.

Hearing life changing advances in another persons life is an event that we should all celebrate and use for our own inspiration to do better. But why does it sometimes make me feel worse? Why does it sometimes make me feel like a pathetic human being? Why does it sometimes make me feel like the harsh words my critical family member said to me last summer was right?

The words haunt me all the time. “If I were an employer, I wouldn’t hire you.” I know he was just trying to be honest, but the words still sting. The whole talk actually changed my old path of searching for just any job into searching for the job that most matches what I want to do in life; write for a living.

But somehow I still find myself in the same position as I was just a year ago. Technically, I do have a better position and more money coming in. But it’s hard to see the success sometimes when I see the even better success of others.

I hate it. I hate this feeling. Why can’t I just be happy for that person? What’s wrong with me? I’m happy about where I am now. But sometimes I feel like I can be doing so much better. It makes me feel like a loser at times.

My pride is sitting in a corner screaming “Why me?” as it watches everyone riding the success train. I’ve been doing more of what I want to do currently where I work and want to do more even with this little writing space. Yet, there is a small part of me that can’t help but ask, is it enough?

Computer Problems =/

My computer hasn’t been working for the past week. Ugh how technology seems to hate me at times. This month has put a real hurting on this blog, but hopefully there will be no more road blocks into the continuation of the Heartbeat Life. I will try my best to publish more and I hope you all will return when you can. Thank you for your patience and your visit on to this site. I so greatly appreciate it. I miss my writing like I miss my best friend who moved away. I can’t wait to get started again. =)