Sis’ to Sis’

I just randomly wrote a poem. He he. I think it needs more work, but I might share it some day when I feel the need to. There is something else I feel I must share. It’s just been on my mind lately. The other day, I met a woman who was sitting by the pier. She decided to talk to me and asked me why I was there. She remarked that we both had our journals out and were writing. She asked me what brought me to the pier. She said that we don’t talk to each other enough (As black women or women in general). She was a stranger in the beginning, but during our talk, she became a mentor, a teacher and a fellow sister in my journey of self-discovery.

At times, I question the decisions and the direction I have made in own life. I am happy to have my MSW and to be closer to becoming a licensed social worker. I am glad to have pursued my creative endeavors by still writing at times and starting out with making jewelry. (Which I need to post more on here) I have joy in partaking in fun filled activities either by myself or with others to make my life that much more enriching. However, there are moments when I go down that dark hallway of my mind and question the choices that I have made.

I am starting to realize that the way things are manifesting in my life is exactly what I always wanted; I must push myself more and have confidence in my decisions. I must learn not to let the naysayers, even those close to you, tear down the strength behind my choices.  God or the Universe will take care of me; always.

The higher power above will take care of you too. You will take care of you. The path and the choices that we make define our lives. We must believe in ourselves more and stop comparing or allowing the negativity of others to take us down. You know why you did what you did; don’t regret it. Even if it’s not working out in your favor yet, it will. Or it will be an important lesson for you in your journey to success if it does not work out. This is the road to who we are. The mistakes, the wrong turns or the right ones lead us to who we have always been.

In this journey that we take, it is also incredibly important to take time to self-reflect and discover who we are. There is something that I am starting to notice more, but I also see that it is quite disturbing in society. We put so much emphasis in getting these successful careers so that we can make a lot of money. The goal has always been to get a high paying job, get the house, get the car and you will be successful; you will be happy. However, I cannot help but notice some famous, rich people who appear to be quite happy in accomplishing all of this on the surface, but in truth are hiding behind their success. Big time celebrities make excessive amounts of money, travel the world and have the adoration of millions of fans, but are still unhappy. Many of them strive so much to be successful for objects but may not be successful with self. So many of them still have the same internal issues or worse than the rest of us. For some of them, it may be heightened because of all the energy they collect from users, naysayers, or any other negative forces they take in from those around.

My point is, why is it that we do not strive to know ourselves? Why is it embedded in us to sacrifice ourselves for these material things instead of saving time for ourselves as well? I mean it’s not wrong to want things and to work hard for them. But why is it OK to put in almost all your energy into gaining objects instead of gaining experiences or positivity from others? We could be uplifted from each other. We could be uplifted by our journeys in self-discovery. The concept of self-care is a huge theme in the caring profession since so much of our energy is utilized by giving to others. But the same can be done from other careers. It is so essential for us to know who we are and to take the time to do so. We tend to lose who we are and become mindless robots for the green. The biggest treasure out there is becoming who you are as a person and sharing that with others. When we empathize and work together as a society, we evolve.

Going back to the conversation with my fellow sister, she said she was relearning herself now that her children are out of the nest. She had her kids young and was rediscovering what she wanted to do with her life after having a rewarding career as a social worker. This queen was taking the time to get to know herself and through her words, she helped me. She had me realize how important it is to take the time to know who you are and to talk to one another. So much can happen with just a smile or a few words. We are so powerful in our own unique ways. We all know who we are at birth, but we must find the tools along the way back to ourselves; choice words she quoted from the outstanding soulstress Erykah Badu. Stay true to yourself and work on you, it is the most important goal you can have. Without it, nothing else matters.

Below, enjoy some sounds from the spiritual, neo-soul queen below.

The Evolution of My Kinks

I have made many changes to my hair lately. It’s weird; when I was younger, I barely did much with it. I feel like even after I started going natural is really when I started experimenting more with the kinks. My hair used to be straight, shiny and flat. Now, it has so much more volume. It has a mind of its own. Every day, it looks a little different. Sometimes it wants to recede a bit and hide from society while on other days it chooses to stretch itself more; of course, though, when I put it in certain styles it makes it easier. Finger coils, twists, braids, and bantu knots as well as just keeping it out are the various ways I choose to show it.

Trying all these styles gave me the opportunity to learn so much more about it which was one of my goals of going natural. I learned about why it becomes dry. I learned about the different types of oils and lotions I can put in it to keep it moisturized. My hair experienced brown, red and currently purple hues to add on some unique flavor. I also showed it off with mohawks, afros and tapered cuts.

At times, I have struggled with how to put my hair for interviews or for the professional environment in general. I choose not to wear braids or anything tight to protect the health of my scalp. (Though I do miss those styles so much) I often also adorn or cover my hair in African print head wraps to preserve a style or to simply hide a bad hair day. It is still a challenge understanding my hair. Every day is a new adventure in the land of my naps. Yet, I am an eager learner and I accept the opportunity for knowledge.

Anyway, I cannot believe how diverse I have become with my hair over the years; especially the past two years. However, the coils sitting on my head is a reflection of who I am becoming. As I inch closer to 30, the 20-year old Tiffy would not recognize who she’s become today. But I know she would be proud.

SAMSUNG

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Evolving (Poetic Tiffy)

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Here’s a little something I dreamed up while on the train. Hope you enjoy:

It’s a feeling in my spirit.
A strong force pushing it’s way forward
Out, but not in; spreading in a flow
Ready to take over my everything

Like the metamorphosis of a butterfly,
These moldings run through me
They highlight an integral step in this journey called life

This force keeps me up at night, keeps me going, keeps me growing.
A lackadaisical Tiffy is not the Queen professed in her ever changing prophesy

For this power is allowing me to evolve, to shed off old ways,
and become the woman God has destined me to be

Tell me, are you ready to take this journey with me? For this
is only a path for growing and becoming

Say I have no need for those who stray in old skin.
This strength emboldens my spirit in keeping me shining
like I was always meant to.

Hiding Behind Pain: Karrueche Tran Opens Up On Own

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“I knew, but I didn’t want to believe it.”- K. Tran

Raise your hand if you’ve heard or have said this before. I know I can’t see you, but I’m positive many of you reading this right now are raising your hands (Or at least raised your hand in your head). It’s a bitter truth many people deal with. They try to hide from the unmistakable, ugly reality grinning at them from ear to ear whenever someone hurts them. They try to shake it off and pretend like the chip on their shoulder didn’t just grow to enormous proportions. But by pretending what someone did to you doesn’t hurt you is only making the problem worse.

“What about you would draw a damaged man into your life?” – Iyanla Vanzant

Karrueche Tran is one clear example of a scorn woman who in the past has shook off the truth. Her back and forth relationship with Chris Brown has been in the gossip headlines and social media convos for years. After discovering through social media that her boyfriend allegedly has a nine-month year old child with another woman, Tran discussed the betrayal and her reaction to it on Iyanla Vanzant’s: Fix My Life on OWN. The highly anticipated interview showcased the famous tough love approach Vanzant took to dig into the depths of how Tran feels and how she can rise up from her pain. In some ways, I believe we all behave the way she did in healing. We tell ourselves “I’m OK” when clearly we’re not. The only way to get better is to acknowledge when you’re sick. I truly hope Tran does not go back to that sorry excuse for a man (incredibly talented artist, but still……) and that she finds positive growth from this harrowing experience.